Steph’s Blog

Just to clairify for the ignorant people we run into…and yes, some of these are people we know and have known for YEARS!

Yes, Scott and I have THREE daughters. Can you not count?

No, we do not have any boys. Do you need glasses?

Yes, we are head over heals in love with all three of our daughters. How can you think someone would love their children less because they do not have a penis? If you do, you do not deserve any children at all.

Yes, they make life crazy but not because they are girls. Don’t all kids make life crazy?

Yes, we have tons of pink. I love pink. Scott, not so much, but he certainly loves how his daughters look in pink.

We do not care care if you think boys are easier to raise than girls. If we wanted easy we would not have had children and probably would have bought a plant. That has to be the epitome of lazy if that is your reasoning for not wanting girls and you should probably not reproduce.

No, Scott does not feel like he is missing out on “all the fun stuff”. Ask him yourself and you might just get a knuckle sandwich. Considering Scott is pretty even tempered this is a big deal. I do not recommend asking him…or me for that matter!

Just for the record, Scott will be the first to tell you that girls can do anything boys can do. We just so happen to have ourselves a little t-ball player, a soccer lover, a GIRL who loves to watch Tiger Woods, a FEMALE child that can pick out the New York Yankees emblem and say ” that’s our team!” and she also happens to be starting karate. We also have a couple of girls who love bug hunting, fishing, and playing in the mud.

Why the defensiveness you ask? My six year old daughter has heard one too many negative comments about girls since we added a third daughter to our clan. I had no idea it was so unheard of to have more than one daughter. We happen to think we are pretty damn lucky. When we have a daughter that thinks it’s society’s general opinion that girls are not as valued as boys we get a tad irritated. If I have to spell it out for you then you are probably one of the morons who asks the above questions or makes one of the above mentioned comments. Seriously, it makes me want to throw up.

Do I have something against boys or sons? Not a chance…children are children. I have two gorgeous nephews and a handsome godson and I love them every bit as much as I love my daughters and my niece. Children are born to us as a gift. We are blessed and lucky to have them no matter what sex they happen to be.

If you feel the need to ask any of the above questions about our three (count with me folks…one…two…three!)girls, save your breath and just walk away. I hear knuckle sandwiches don’t taste all that great.

“A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.”

I had no idea how lucky I was until just recently. I knew I was blessed and lucky but I had no idea HOW blessed and lucky!
I am going to level with you…I have been having a rough go of it with some postpartum depression in the weeks following Keely’s birth. Now, don’t get me wrong…I ADORE having this new little person here with us but even when I am looking at her and feeling that amazing feeling a mother feels for her new baby I still had this sad, nagging, heavy feeling weighing on me all the time. For the life of me I could not shake it. I went in to talk to my OB about it but only after a strong shove from Scott and a dear friend of mine. I know that this is something that is not out of the ordinary for new moms but none the less I still could not bring myself to call my Dr until I got a kick in the pants. I guess maybe because I didn’t want to admit that I wasn’t feeling as wonderful as I was telling everyone. Once I went to the OB and he started me on the right path, little by little I started to let people know what was really going on. I didn’t feel the need to close the door after people left so I could finally cry, I started crying when I talked to them on the phone, in my kitchen, in an email…you name it…the flood gates opened! This is where I found out how lucky I am. I have some amazing people in my life. These people have rallied around me when I needed them most. Scott has been helping me hold my head above water so I am not so overwhelmed 24/7, he has managed to be completely calm and patient with my tears and frustration and he has just held me even when I didn’t know that I just needed to lean on someone. My sisters kicked it into high gear and called me just to tell me they loved me, they came for dinner or lunch and made me laugh…I hadn’t realized how good it felt to laugh. Really and truly laugh. The dearest friend I have ever had called me often and emailed me daily to tell me it was ok, that I wasn’t nuts, and that she loved me. My mom took all 3 kids for me so Scott and I could just go to the store alone and get some air. Other friends and family say they “just offered an ear”, it wasn’t “just” and ear…it meant a lot to me to have all these people to turn to when I needed it most.

I like to think that I am a self sufficient and an independent woman so it was rather difficult to realize that I needed to let someone else help carry the load. It made me swallow my pride and really listen to what my doctor was telling me and take the steps from there. If had not had my doctor, my husband, my family and my friends I am not sure that I would be doing as well as I am today. It is hard to share that raw emotion with someone let alone everyone closest to me. Because of them I am really enjoying Keely…I was enjoying her before but now I am enjoying her newly found smiles and coos without feeling like something was looming over me.

The sun is shining, the baby is smiling and so am I, thanks to everyone who loves us.

May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!

It has been a long time…too long. Our family has been incredibly busy over the past few months with the holiday’s, birthday’s and most obviously preparing for the arrival of our newest addition. It has all gone by so fast and the days just seem to keep flying by at breakneck speeds.

I can’t figure out how 24 hours can fly by they way they seem to. I wish I could slow it down just a little. I want to keep these last few weeks around a little bit longer and to linger in the newness of it all. I guess maybe because I know how fast Keely is going to grow and before I know it she won’t be this tiny, sweet smelling pink bundle in my arms. That and the fact that this is mostly likely the last time I will have a new little bundle of my own. It is bittersweet.
I am enjoying the sight of little baby things all over the house, the bassinet in our living room that was once used for Keely’s sisters and most of I all I am enjoying the use of my rocking chair again. It has been sitting in the baby’s room waiting patiently for me for the last 9 months. When I feed Keely in the night it’s nice to know that it’s just her and I. I have her all to myself as we doze on and off to the familiar creek of my comfortable rocker. I try to remember that being tired is a small price to pay for the huge gift I have been given once again, so I am embracing it while I can. I breathe in her sweet new baby smell and listen to all her sweet little noises. I love to hear how she squeaks and sighs as she eats and sleeps. It is hard to remember that just three weeks ago Keely was not here with us yet, it feels as though she has always been here.

Life is good for us. Scott and I are taking in each day, enjoying the sight and sound of our three little bundles of joy. What more could we ask for?!

“A new born babe, rings light to the cottage, warmth to the heart & joy to the soul, for wealth is family - family is wealth”

She’s here!

Our third little pink bundle has arrived! Keely weighed in at a sweet 7 pounds and 19 inches!

We are all doing well and we adore her perfectly sweet soft little self!

I apologize for being MIA for MONTHS…Good God I have been a slacker!! I have so much to say and tell about that my mind is over flowing! As soon as time management gets to be a little easier around The Wilhelm Household I will be catching up on writing and updating!

I can’t make up my mind. Do I want the girls to stay small forever or am I impatiently waiting for them to be more independent? It is a really tough call these days.

On the one hand Abigail has become so independent that, most days, it makes me feel utterly useless. She has this whole other world that she survives in all day long without me. This whole other world that holds secrets with friends, and “inside” jokes and the decisions she needs to make on her own now in regard to “is this right?” or “is this wrong?”. Granted they are not large decisions like us grown ups make but in the world of a six year old they are of high importance, such as, “Should I help little Susie after she fell down or do I laugh with the other kids who are making fun of her?” These are the decisions a child makes that will make up the backbone of the type of person they are growing up to be. I am proud to say Abigail doesn’t really care what others say to her when she helps the one kid that is being picked on or pushed around. In a rare instance, she actually told me what she did in school one day without me having to drag it out of her…the gist of the story comes down to one line, she asked “How would you feel if someone did that to you?”. I was proud of her for helping a smaller child on the playground and even prouder still for her keeping her cool. These days she does so many of these things all on her own…it makes me a little sad to think that my days of her wanting me to help are numbered. I guess it means that I have done my job pretty well so far. I try to hold in mind that my days are numbered especially when it is things like, tying a shoe I know she can tie on her own, or one more lullaby and cuddle before I tuck her in for the night and hurry to get back to the dishes waiting in the sink. I know I should hold onto these little moments with her because in another six years she isn’t going to want me for the cuddles like she does now and the smooch after having a shoe tied won’t be awaiting me any longer. Just this morning while getting ready for the bus she told me, “Mom I can go out the door on my own, I don’t really need you to wave to me.” My heart broke a little bit for my own selfish reasons and then it soared because I knew as welll as she does that she can go on her own too…and she isn’t scared to tell me so.

However, (you knew that was coming) on my other hand I have Megan who seems to need me all the time these days and I find myself thinking, “Good God I can’t wait for you to do this on your own!”. Seriously, how does a sane person go from wanting one child to need her to wanting the other one to be more of a big girl? Have I lost my mind? Maybe it is the fact that Abigail needs my help so much less than Megan and I would like an equal balance between the two. Megan seems to need me to be the only one to cuddle her at night, take her to the potty, carry her up to bed, and I am the only one she wants in the night when she gets up for whatever reason. Don’t get me wrong…it is a nice stroke to the ego to have someone be able to voice that they want and need you so much but it is exhausting as well. I am wondering how Megan is going to feel when the new baby arrives in a couple short months. Is she going to cling to me endlessly or is she going to take on the big sister roll like a champ? Obviously the baby is going to need me as all new babies do and I find myself happily awaiting that newborn stage with the rocking and being the one to have the baby all to myself during midnight feedings. So why do I feel so differently about Megan needing me so much these days? I know that part of the reason is the cross between the stages of toddler and big kid. She is smack dab right in between the two at this point. I guess maybe it is more me wanting her to be more independent now, rather than after the new baby arrives and forces her to be a little more of a big girl. I guess I just answered my own question.

I need to hold all this in the front of my memory. I need to remember to cherish the shoe lace requests and lingering cuddles of my first baby who doesn’t need me quite so much and I need to stay patient with the trips to the potty, and the multiple middle of the night wakings of my second baby because as my first taught me when I wasn’t looking…it doesn’t last forever.

Mom and Dad were right…I shouldn’t wish my life away. It means I am wishing theirs away too.

For my Girls:

Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter.
Lullabies, dreams and love ever after.

She did it. My baby sister has gone and done it. Sara went and got married! We couldn’t be happier for her and Ryan.
For some reason watching her walk down the aisle was a bit if a tear jerker for me. I am not much of a crier at weddings but watching her walk down the aisle on the arm of our father really hit home for me…all of my siblings and I are all really truly grown up now. I think it kind of scared me a little bit to be able to remember Sara at the age Abigail is now and yet see her get married at the same time. How must my parents feel if I feel this way? Do my brother and other sister feel the same way about our baby sister getting hitched? Maybe it’s just the hormones again…that’s it…we will chalk it up to pregnancy hormones!

In all seriousness it was a completely gorgeous event. The church was filled with their closest family and friends eager to share their warmest wishes with the happy couple on a chilly October day. I am also quite certain that I have never had the pleasure of seeing my sister as beautiful as she was that day, on the arm of her new husband. They make a good solid team…they really do. Sara and Ryan balance each other out in every way and you can see by watching him how much he loves my sister and how much she loves him. I should also add that Ryan fits our family to a T in all the ways that matter most. He is just so easy to love and to be around, and he doesn’t get scared off by girls crying either! For a guy who comes from a family of four brothers this is a big deal when he just married into a family with a lot of girls! Yup, we love Ryan and he can stick around for the next fifty years or so.
I hope they know how lucky they are. Some people wait a life time and never find the treasure that they have just found. I hope they live everyday making each other happy, even through the squabbles and the bumpy times, and that they always…always kiss each other good night.

Wedding Blessing

May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace.
May your troubles grow few as your blessings increase.
May the saddest day of your future
Be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May your hands be forever clasped in friendship
And your hearts joined forever in love.
Your lives are very special,
God has touched you in many ways.
May his blessings rest upon you
And fill all your coming days.

For anyone who knows my husband they know that he is very active in the paintball scene. There is a site that he put together for a family that is very well known in the paintball community. This couple just lost their infant son to lymphangiomatosis. Please check out this link and if nothing else please take a moment to learn about the LYMF Foundation.

http://www.paintballersforacause.com/

Cancer has been a part of the lives of too many people in my family over the past decade so this hits close to home no matter what type of cancer it is.

Thank you for taking the time to check out the link. Please keep this family in your prayers…I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child to cancer.

Tomorrow my Abby goes back to school.

I have yet to figure out how I feel about this exactly. I love having her home with Megan and I each day and I am going to miss her happy go lucky presence in the house all day long.

I can feel the tears already…she will be fine…I know this with certainty but I have my doubts about myself.

I will blame it on pregnancy hormones for now.

It seems to be that time of year again…or almost. The weather has gotten cooler again and school is just around the corner (GASP!). The corn has changed again, gardens are ready to be picked for canning tomatoes and pickling cucumbers, Scott will go back to regular work hours and before we know it the bus will be pulling up to swallow up my Abigail again and Megan and I will be here waving goodbye to her.

The girls have had such a wonderful summer together that I am not sure I like the thought of Abigail leaving us once again to go back to school. They have become the best of friends over the summer. They have these funny little conversations between them and they even seem to have inside jokes that Scott and I don’t quite grasp. They play together all day, share snacks and drinks, try to get each other into trouble or out of trouble as sisters do and try to generally make each other happy. I think one of the biggest things that has prompted this closeness is the fact that they are sharing a bedroom now. With the new baby coming in February we decided to move Megan into Abigail’s room so that the baby could have his or her own room. Our bedtime routine is a little different these days, there isn’t anymore rocking with Meg in the rocking chair at nap time or bed time (which I miss terribly), there are longer story times, more lullabies, and WAY more giggling and chit chatting after Scott and I have left the room. We sit down in the living room at night laughing at how funny and sweet they sound until we notice how much time has passed and that these kids really need to get to sleep before 9:30 each night.

It amazes me to see how much these little girls of mine have grown and changed into “bigger” girls over the summer and I am so looking forward to seeing how much they grow and change throughout the year and after the baby comes. Abigail somewhat knows what to expect but this will be all new to Megan…I am hoping Abigail will take her little sisters hand and gently guide her through the first few days of having a new sibling with the same gentle grace that she had when Megan was born.

They have taught me and reminded me of so many things over the summer by just watching them be together. When people tell you that you will live and learn through your kids all over again they aren’t kidding!

I know, I know…I totally suck at keeping up with this thing lately.

We have had an amazingly busy summer…it has been pretty good all around just really busy and I forgot how tired pregnancy can make you on top of everything else we have had going on.

Things are well here and all of us are happy and healthy!

More to come in a bit!