The email following this was sent to me today from a coworker of Scott’s who is also a friend of ours. I wish more people in my life that I think of as “golf balls” thought or felt the same way.
Recently I have come to the sad conclusion that some people you love fiercely do not give back the friendship or love that you unconditionally give to them. It is those people that it is the hardest to stop loving, especially given the history and the years you have shared with them. The life changes good and bad, the huge milestones we have shared together like getting our first apartments, getting married, having babies and watching them grow and then of course the everyday little things like a last minute dinner together, late night laughs and our fair share of arguments and tears. It seems that those things only mean something to me, and to be dropped like a hot coal for no apparent reason other than “there is something else going on” or something along the lines of “can’t fit it in” not only makes me angry that I cannot bring myself to just write off the relationship but it breaks my heart that the others in this friendship can’t even see past themselves as to what they are doing to other people’s hearts and feelings and they don’t even seem to care what new things and wonderful changes they are missing out on. It can make a person feel like a real arse for loving them so much and thinking they love you back the same way and then realizing that they apparently don’t.
I have been over it in my head a million times as to what could have been done by us to make them just walk out of our lives for the most part and have even talked it over and there is nothing that could be concluded by either party. I guess it just means that it wasn’t a relationship to last through the years the same way that it started out. I guess that is life and just they way the cookie crumbles. That is going to take me some time and thought to get used to, but I do have other relationships that are so rewarding, full and warm. I can share love and friendship with more than just a few people, so I will be sure to treat my other close relationships, and new ones as well, with strong hands to hold them close and an open mind and heart to hear them when they need me and to give advise when wanted.
My Grandfather once told me when I was small, that if you are going to take the time and energy to do something that it should be done to the best of your ability…I think this is the perfect example to take that advice. He proved it a million times over with his family and friends. I guess when you have people that have known you, through being related or through friendships, for as many years as he did and they still talk of the wonderful things he said or did or just a funny story, that it goes to show he spoke to me from experience itself.
I do not begrudge them happy new friendships and relationships, I just hope they remember to take the time and energy to care for them well-help them to grow and thrive for a long time to come. I pass on the advise of my Grandfather to them… and hope that they take it to heart.
“To measure the man, measure his heart.”
-Malcolm Stevenson Forbes
Here is the email a friend sent to us:
Think on this:
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things. Your family, your children, your faith, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter. Your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
Saturday afternoon we had Grana Jo and Grandpa Hank (AKA Scott’s Mom and Dad) over for some apple pie and coffee and the girls hammed it right up for them! 
