Steph’s Blog

Here are some photos that Abigail, my little shutter bug, took while we were all pumpkin carving this past Sunday!
We LOVE to do stuff like this together and we had such a great time.

Take a look!

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Happy Halloween!

To all those of you who have left comments or who have emailed me, thank you very much for your comments and thoughts. It means a lot to me that you all read a blog of someone you don’t even know.

Now I need to say I am sorry for being so behind on blogging. The last three weeks have been a bit helter skelter with the girls being sick and then I was sick myself for two weeks. We have had a million birthday and Halloween parties to attend along with everything that goes with daily life.

Now on to my point of the blog today.

How do you help your little girl get over being frightened and nervous over something that you know she can do and has done?

Abigail is afraid to ride the bus now. She is so afraid in fact that it comes down to her crying at bedtime when she asks if she has to ride the bus tomorrow, crying a good chunk of the morning while she gets ready for school and then her little hands get nervous and shake. This has been an all consuming issue in our home for the last 3 school mornings. It turns out that now that the buses have a regular routine (only took them 2 months!) they get to school before 8:10 and they are not allowed in the building before then so they have to sit and wait on the bus for 15-20 minutes each morning. This causes big concerns for Abigail because she is afraid of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time if she needs to go. She had an accident at school a couple weeks ago and it seems to have really bothered her so now she is overly conscious that she needs to use the bathroom. Add on to all this that her best friend moved away and now Abigail no longer has the distraction of playing and chatting with her little friend to keep her mind off the worry.

I sent a note on the bus with her this morning to give to her bus monitor (who seems to be a very kind woman and seems to comfort Abigail a great deal) explaining what was going on with Abigail. A little while ago she called me to talk about all this and let me know that she noticed that she has been a little more anxious and upset since they have had to sit and wait the 15-20 minutes on the bus. She told me that she reassured Abigail and let her know that if she EVER needed to use the bathroom that she would ALWAYS take her in and let her go. She also stressed to my little worrier that if anything ever happened on the bus or if she was ever scared or upset that she can always tell her and she will help. She doesn’t want Abigail to be afraid and she wants her to know that she is there to help take care of her and keep her safe and well.

So I am hoping that after hearing that and after we let her know that she will be ok and that there is someone there to help her out she will feel better about her bus ride.

It is beyond painful to send her off to the bus while I can see her fighting back the tears. It breaks my heart to know that she is frightened and worried. But, I also want her to learn that she needs to overcome these fears. I was so tempted to take her to school myself but in the long run that is not teaching her what she needs to learn and it is not helping the matter–only covering it up. I think the hardest part is, that up until now, Abigail has pretty much been a fearless worry-free child and now I see her worry…something she really hasn’t had much experience with. I guess that goes with the growing up territory.
I think that this is one of the bigger challenges of parenting that we have had to deal with (I know, we really are lucky but it still sucks). Up until this point my girls were just babies and we could give them everything they needed but now that Abigail is growing and is in school we need to teach her that she needs to overcome fears and worries and how to do that. It is so hard to see her so upset and to know that I can’t just snap my fingers and make it go away.

Until we get over this I will just keep dishing out the kisses and hugs and reassurance and send her on her way to school. It is hard to take in that I cannot be the one to take care of all her worries and hurts throughout the day anymore. But at least I know that the people who surround her at school are caring for her, nurturing and of course, educating her and helping her grow to be a strong independent girl.

Abigail has had a pretty bad week. She has taken it all in stride I would say…but today may be the straw that broke the camels back…or her heart.

Yesterday Abigail found out that her best friend was moving away. I know to you and I that isn’t that big of a deal after only 7 weeks of school and that she is going to gain and lose more friends over the span of her life. However, when you are five years old, are table mates, lunch buddies and sit together on the school bus everyday this is a pretty big blow…even more so when the day you find out that your friend is leaving it turns out to be her last day with you so there is no real warning or time to say good-bye.

Last night Abigail came home and explained to me that her friend was moving to a new house and a new school on Saturday. I know that Abigail was so sad but we at least thought she would have one last day on the bus, one last day to share lunches and one last day to be table mates. We bought a little going away gift for her and sent our phone number and address with it so that the girls could keep in touch and Abigail made a little charm necklace for her. After some crying at bedtime last night and explaining that we will try to keep in touch with her friend and that she still has her other friends she finally fell asleep.

This morning she woke up happier but the first thing she mentioned was that today was going to be her little friends last day at school. So Scott and I did our reassuring that it might be her last day but that we could still call and get together with her friend since they weren’t moving all that far away. So Abigail got herself dressed and ate a good breakfast and we did the rest of our normal school morning routine and started watching for the bus.

This is where her heart breaks into a million little bits. Abigail, her friend and her friends older brother all sit together on the bus every morning n the same seat. Abigail looked in “their seat” as the bus pulled up for her friend…and she’s already gone. It turns out yesterday, the same day they announced they were leaving, was their last day.

Abigail turns and looks back to me waving good-bye to her from the front porch and I see her eyes filling up with tears and her chin quivering, but she turns to get on the bus none the less. When I saw her sit in “their seat” all alone, with not one other soul in the seat with her, her little face looking down into her lap my heart just broke into a thousand pieces and then my own tears fell for her heartbreak.

Abigail is the kind of child that holds her heart out there for every person to have. I love that about her. I tend to be the same way too but I can also understand at this point in my life that my heart will get hurt or mistreated along the way but that it doesn’t stay hurt forever. Abigail only understands that now there is an empty seat right next to her in her class room, an empty seat on the bus and now her best friend won’t be there to share her Chex Mix with everyday.

What is more difficult, seeing her heartbroken right now but knowing that it won’t be broken forever and that friends come and go or the fact that this is the first of many broken hearts my baby is going to have to endure throughout her life?

The realization of that is almost more than I wish to bare. Of course I knew that my children were going to grow and learn and love and be loved by people other than our families and also have their feelings hurt and deal with disappointment and heart break…I guess I just hoped it wouldn’t have been this soon, that I would have been more prepared for it or that maybe…just maybe she wouldn’t have to go through it at all.

Have you ever had something just out of your reach and you try and try to catch it but it just slips through you fingers, however, the chase was so fun you just can’t manage be sad?

We did this weekend. I was driving over to my sister Stacie’s house with the girls and we all spotted a huge rainbow and then another and then another. THREE rainbows all at once. One arched just a little higher over the first. We then realized we could see both ends of two of the rainbows. How lucky is that?!

Being Irish, chasing rainbows is practically in the job description. So that is what Stacie, Abigail, Megan and I did. We chased the rainbow trying to pass directly under it or to at least catch up with one end of one of them.

As hard as we tried we just couldn’t catch that glowing beam of luck. My girls had a wonderful time though (to be honest I think Stacie and I were more into it than they were!). Abigail was speechless for all of thirty seconds and then said with, a little bit of a stutter while she was finding the right words, “It’s just like…like a miracle isn’t it?!” Megan wasn’t sure what to make of the bright arch of colors that was so vivid and bright. Being not quite two years old, those things don’t make much sense just yet, but she loved the clapping and giggling none the less!

Just a quick post to wish my Mom and Dad a Happy 30th Anniversary.

It’s pretty amazing these days to see people my parents age that are still married. What’s even more wonderful is that they have been married for 30 years. WOW!!

Congratulations Mom and Dad! I hope you have a wonderful anniversary!

Well I got my first call from the school nurse on Friday. Talk about a heart in your throat and instant panic sort of moment. It turns out Abigail was beyond consoling and was running a fever of 102 with a massive headache. I was so sad for her and scared at the same time. When I got to her at the nurses office she was finally asleep on a cot and just from looking at her I could tell it wasn’t going to be a good weekend. She woke up when Megan and I arrived and when I asked her a question she had to steady herself, take a deep breath and talk so quietly because her little head ached so badly.

So we get Abigail home after what seemed like the longest thirty minutes of my life and she sees that the suitcases are all packed and the van is about ready to finish loading with our bags and then she remembers we were supposed to leave for a long weekend of leaf watching and apple picking with Aunt Stacie and Uncle Mark. This does not help the headache when the tears start again because we won’t be going now. She cries and feels sad because “it’s always my fault when we can’t do something fun” as she put it. So I reassured her that we would go again another time and not to worry about missing out. Megan and Guinness climbed up on the couch next to her to either cuddle (that would be Guinness) or check and recheck like I would (that would be Megan) how her fever is doing. It she hadn’t felt so completely yucky that would have been a sweeter moment than it was but I was still in the process of putting my heart back down in my chest from the initial phone call.
To make a long story short we spent the whole weekend trying to help Abigail feel better. She bounced between a 99 degree fever and a 103.7 degree fever and then of course the puking started. Megan walked around the house all day Sunday repeating “Abby puke. Abby sick. Abby sad.” to the point that Abby finally said “Yes Megan I know I puked now leave me alone!” I couldn’t help it…call me a bad mother but I just had to laugh. It was too much for me to hold back. Through it all she tried to have such a happy disposition about her, even with Mother Hen Megan pecking at her. She tried not to get cranky and she tried not to cry but at one point it was just all too much and she just let the tears pour and then she felt better.

Monday was a much better day. The weather was still wonderful and Abigail was feeling much better. She and Megan played together most of the day and Abigail and I went for a short walk that afternoon. She mentioned to me last night before she fell asleep that she was happy that she was all better and that her temperature was gone and she said how lucky she was because she could go back to school the following morning.

I am happy too Abigail. I am happy that I have two healthy little girls, even with tears temperatures and tissues all over the house I am a lucky mommy.

The title says it all folks…this is about girls and dresses!

My Mom, Stacie and Sara (the bride), Ryan’s mom (the fiance’s mom) and myself all took a trip a couple weeks ago to go wedding dress shopping for Sara. HOW FUN! We had such a great time. We must have put Sara in 25 different gowns and low and behold she found the PREFECT one! I won’t tell what it looks like, that will be a surprise for next October! But what a great day it was. We had some really good laughs and tried on some really hideous stuff just for the hell of it and then my Mom treated all of us to a great lunch.

There is something to be said for sharing a whole day with my Mom, sisters and Roberta. It was a really great day where we were all just comfortable and enjoying Sara’s excitement and our own.

She has picked herself the perfect guy, now it is just a matter of finding the perfect flowers!

The things a little girl can say to make you stop dead in your tracks and smile!

A week ago we took Abigail, Megan and my Dad to a dairy farm open house. Why Abigial wanted to go is beyond me since my Dad has run a dairy farm my entire life, up until he switched to beef cattle a couple months ago. We went anyway since she was so set on it and some of her little class mates were going as well. We took the tour of the milking parlor, the free stall barns and by the time we got to the special needs barns both kids were bored out of their trees and wanting to go home. We managed to keep them occupied until we got to the calf pens where they were more than happy to get in the pen with the calf and pet him for a while. Shortly after, we finished the tour and the girls had treats from the St. Lawrence County Dairy Princess and then we headed home.

We dropped my Dad off at his house and took Abigail home for lunch and tucked a sleeping Megan into bed for her nap. Later that afternoon I was asking Abigail if she liked the tour and what she thought of a farm that was a bit different from Papa’s. She said she liked the tour and admitted she was bored for a while. She explained that Papa’s barn was better and his cows were better too. So I asked her what made Papa’s barn special and different than the one she saw that day. She looked at me and simply said “Papa’s has more love.”

Well that explains it all. This farm has been run by my family. First my Grandparents and now my Dad and Uncle run it and with the help of my brother and lots of cousins over the years. But most of all, my Dad has taken great pains to run a successful, organized, beautiful farm for decades and mix with that a love for nature and it would be hard to NOT see the love he puts into it for his family and himself.

I guess she is right, it just has more love.