Steph’s Blog

I know, I know…I totally suck at keeping up with this thing lately.

We have had an amazingly busy summer…it has been pretty good all around just really busy and I forgot how tired pregnancy can make you on top of everything else we have had going on.

Things are well here and all of us are happy and healthy!

More to come in a bit!

The title says it all!

Our family is expanding…baby number 3 will be here in February 2008.

I am not barfing yet so lets take this as a good sign!

I admit it freely, this is one of the best days of the year for me. A whole day dedicated to Mom’s!

I woke up this morning to a bed full of giggles, tail wags and the smell of coffee. There was Scott, Abigail, Megan and Guinness the Beagle Pup (who happens to be 50 pounds now!) all in bed with me. What a wonderful way to wake up. Abigail could hardly contain herself as she pulled her hand made gifts for me out of her hiding place, that just happened to be under our bed. What a funny kid…Mom’s room is always safe so lets hide Mom’s gifts under her bed (what place could be better right?). Thanks to her wonderful kindergarten teacher sixteen mom’s got the sweetest cookbooks and hand decorated pots with little aloe plants in them. When I was younger I couldn’t figure out what was so great about hand made stuff, twenty some years later it is crystal clear that it is all about those little hands making something “just right” for Mommy. I am not too proud to admit that in our cramped giggling bed this morning I was warmed to the soul and brought to tears. I could tell that she took her time writing out the card she made me for Mother’s Day. If I had to guess, I would safely bet that it was the exact same cut out rose glued to pink construction paper that I made for my Mom almost twenty four years ago. It will be tucked in a box under my bed along with all the other little tokens she has made for Scott and I and in another twenty four years I bet it will still make me cry.

Mother’s Day is not just about me though. It is about all Moms. More importantly, my Mom. Anyone who knows me, and I mean really knows anything about me, knows that my Mom is my hero. She is the woman who worked long full time hours as a nurse (and still does), raised my older brother, myself and my two younger sisters all while being a farmers wife. If you have never lived on a farm or been married to a farmer you don’t have a clue what that last statement means so just take my word for it…it’s no cake walk. She is the woman who cares for everyone in our family. When I say everyone I really mean it. She takes care of her mother and oldest sister, helps my Dad’s mother, is there for all her siblings, my dad’s siblings, her friends and all of us kids, our spouses and our children at the drop of a hat. Talk about a full plate. How she does it all is beyond me. She is probably the strongest woman I know and will ever meet in my life. If I can be a tenth of the woman she is I will be happy. She has gone from; “my mom who makes me clean my room every weekend”, to “my mom who can’t understand what it’s like to be a teenager” (sorry for those teenage angst years Mom!), to my best friend. My mom was there with Scott and I the very second both our daughters took their first breath. From that moment she has been a rock for both Scott and I. She knows what I am worrying about or thinking even before I do most times. She knows what to say to soothe me or my kids even when I think nothing will. She listens to me complain and comforts me when I cry. She is there to share in the largest of milestones and the simplest of joys. She loves all of us unconditionally. I wish everyone could have a mother like mine.

Abigail asked me today if I knew how much she loved me. My reply, “Yes Ab, I do.” “I love my Mommy just like you love me.” We ended with an Eskimo kiss and that deep in your bones sort of love and she skipped off yet again, with my heart in her hands.

Happy Mother’s Day!

You are my Hero Mom. I love you.
Mothers hold their children’s hands for just a little while…and their hearts forever.

~Irish Proverb~

It has just been one of those days…to say the least.

Yesterday at this time I was relaxed and happy knowing that Abigail didn’t have to go to school for the next 12 days. I was going over all the different things the three of us girls were going to do over Easter vacation. Granted nothing I have planned is overly exciting, I was just planning things like some spring cleaning, going to the playground with some friends if the weather was nice, maybe doing some new fun arts and crafts stuff if the weather was on the rainy side, I think mostly I was excited to know that I had her and Megan home with me for almost two full weeks…I was thrilled! Note that I said “was”.

Today was a day from Hell. That is an understatement. It was so bad that I don’t know what else to call it but a “bad day”. Megan was up at her usual 5:00am and was starting to melt down by 8:00am. Abigail was up at 6:15am when she normally would have slept in until 8:00 or so. Not today…they were already fighting and crying the minute Scott was out the door at 7:00. I decided I would fix breakfast and then we would get on with our day. No big deal there right? Wrong! These girls of mine continued to unravel little by little over the tiniest things…things that were so small I don’t think I can even recall what one of those little things happened to be! I decided to give them a morning bath this morning to mix things up a little bit. What a stupid idea that was. Apparently Megan hogs all the water, Abigail’s long legs irritate Megan and neither one of them even wanted to consider sharing the bath toys. What a lovely day. Needless to say they got washed, dried and dressed at mach speed. At least the crying stopped and they were coloring quietly shortly after the bath debacle was over. I took a look at the clock thinking lunch isn’t too far around the corner. Wrong again. It is 9:07am. Jesus this day will never end. I take a deep breath and just remind myself that they are probably a bit tired and move towards more positive thinking…Nap time for Megan will be a welcomed break today!

To shorten this up a bit we made it through lunch and I got Megan down for her nap. I was just sitting down to play a game with Abigail when Megan wakes up crying and miserable after a short 40 minute nap. So Abigail and I do everything in our power to console her…she continues to cry and nothing would soothe her so I decided to just let her have a good cry and get it all out. After all doesn’t everyone need a good cry once in a while? This did not go as well as I had hoped. She is now exhausted, sniffling and even more tired. Normally after a good cry the girls have a little giggle about how silly it all was and then get on with things and it’s back to blue skies and sunshine. Well someone took that sunshine and shoved it…well never mind.

We all get a drink of juice and trudge on when I realized it was barely 1:30. Good God in Heaven this day is dragging on. We move on to some playtime upstairs and a little cleaning here and there. For the most part the girls are playing well and they even have managed to get a crown on Guinness the Beagle Pup…now he was the unhappy one in that pouty hound dog sort of way.

Finally the sunshine has broken through the clouds and Scott is home! Hallelujah! There are hugs and kisses and even my cranky girls are happy to see Daddy too. At this point I am starting to think that maybe they just have it in for me.

We start dinner and I play a computer game with the girls while dinner is in the oven. So far so good. We sit down to eat and everyone is munching away and chatting along and then WHAMO…Megan loses it. She is not happy that she doesn’t have a blueberry waffle on her dinner plate to go along with her chicken and mashed potatoes. You would have thought that the sky came crashing down around her. Scott all of a sudden was more than thrilled to take Guinness to the vet tonight.

We get through the rest of dinner and our nightly routine and finally it’s back to hugs, kisses and smiles all around. I am grateful. I filled with gratitued. I am also filled with guilt. I kiss my babies and tuck them in bed and I realize that I have been just as grumpy and short tempered today as they have been been. In fact I think that we have just fed off of each others misery today. You know the saying…Misery loves company. Well misery is in good company today. I kiss each of my girls and whisper “Mommy is sorry for being so grouchy today.” and they just hug and smooch me. Megan has already forgotten all about the long hard day we have had and is happy sleepy smiles and Abigail just hugs me and says “We all have bad days Mommy.”. Indeed!
What a day! I have promised myself that tomorrow I will wake up with a smile and make the best out our day together. I am going to be thankful for the day even if the kids are crying and fighting and turning my hair white. I remind myself that I am so lucky to have them, tears, tantrums…you name it. Tomorrow I am going to embrace it and be a better Mom for it. After all, nothing worth having comes easily right?

Catherine Newman wrote a book titled, Waiting for Birdy. I have followed Catherine’s blogs on BabyCenter.com since I was pregnant for Abigail. She encompasses what being a mother means, how it feels and everything in between. There is a passage in her book that sums it all up for me and moves me in such a heartfelt way. It says exactly what I feel. The passage reads;

Sometimes I wonder whether I would have done this-this becoming a parent-if I had known. You know, known about this love that’s like heartbreak. Mostly and obviously, I think: Of course. Don’t be silly. But sometimes my love for these children feels almost like an affliction-like my heart is in the fist of a beast, and I am utterly helpless.

You know that it’s love when its painfully sweet and completely out of your control.

Tomorrow I am going to breath a little easier, speak softer and embrace my gifts.

Well being Irish I thought it would be appropriate to wish everyone, Irish or not, A Very Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Be careful not to dress your wee ones in too much green on St. Patrick’s Day! It is said to be, that green is the favorite color of the fairies! I will be sure to dress my little ones in just enough to keep the Luck-o-the Irish with them but not enough for those little fairies to whisk them away!

Blessings to you and yours!

St. Patrick was a gentleman
Who through strategy and stealth
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health;
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good St. Patrick
And see all those snakes again!

(Here’s to our loud Irish families Betsy! I will be sure to raise a glass for you and yours! Blessings! )

We are going to be adding a new addition to our extended family! My brother inlaw and my new sister inlaw are expecting their first little bundle, how exciting!!!
Scott and I are overjoyed for them! Obviously we have had the pleasure to go through all the excitement, planning and all the nervous waiting not just once but twice. It was such an amazing experience for both of us. Bringing a new life into this world was the most wondrous thing I have ever done and probably will ever do in my entire life.

This new chapter in your lives is going to change so many things–all in such wonderful amazing ways. You are going to learn the strength of what a woman can do. You are going to learn that the same strong woman has the most gentle husband the first time he holds that little being in his arms. This baby takes you from a newly married couple of two, to your very own little family of three. You are both going to learn how to make tough decisions for this little person and even though there are some people who are bound to disagree with you, just remember, this is your baby and you do know what is best. You will also learn how to slow down and how to see life through the eyes of your child. You will learn what the most important gifts in life are and you will be amazed at how full your lives have become.

Babies are wonderful gifts. For such small little beings they sure do add so much. Not only are you going to be husband and wife, you are now a father and a mother. Babies make our parents, grandparents and our siblings, aunts and uncles. They add a whole new dynamic to our lives. Christmas’s and Birthday’s have new meanings and sentiments now. Not a birthday goes by that I don’t think back to the day my babies were born, it is all so bittersweet for me. Those were two of the happiest days in my entire life. The happiest days of your lives have only just begun! Congratulations! We are so excited and happy for you!

I know that you guys are not Irish but Auntie Steph is, so here is my blessing for you!

May you always walk in sunshine.
May you never want for more.
May Irish angels rest their wings beside your nursery door.
And for the proud parents:
May God grant you a wee bit of heaven
to cradle in your arms -
a sweet bonny baby
to hold close to your heart.
A newborn babe
brings light to the house
warmth to the hearth
and joy to the soul
for wealth is family
family is wealth.

Ok people, what do you think? Do we like the new layout or should we go back to the old “Beauty Within” layout?

I can’t make up my mind!

This is a blog for those faithful readers of mine.

I cannot believe that I have so many people that faithfully check back and read my blog even though I am terrible at blogging on a regular basis! I am so amazed that people actually want to read about the things in my life! The comments that some have left for me to read warm me to the core of my being. I started this blog after my husband nagged me long enough that I just did it to shut him up. I hate to admit it, but he was right. I love this…I love this outlet that I have found. I love that my children will be able to read this one day and see the way that they have blessed my life.
Betsy has left me two comments that nearly brought me to tears! I thank you for writing the wonderful words that you have written to me. Your family sounds beautiful and much like ours. We are very lucky souls Betsy!
I love to share what my life is about. I feel that I am so blessed to have the life I have that I want to share it with everyone. I want everyone to feel the way I do, to love the way I do and to be loved the way that I am.
Thank you all for reading and for your comments, it makes me want to continue to write more and share more of our life with you. I have a stock pile of blogs in my brain right now, it just takes some time to get them posted. With two kids it takes a while since I do it all the typing one handed! Just Kidding of course! ;). Thank you again and I will be blogging more soon.

Seriously, can someone please tell me why some people are so closed minded? Not even just closed minded but close minded and rude?

I swear if I hear the comment of “it must be so nice to be able to sit around the house all day with no real life pressures.”, or “what the heck do you do all day?” or anything like it I will go postal.

Is that what society really thinks of stay at home parents? That all we do is sit around the house and do nothing? I cannot fathom who they think takes care of the kids, the house, the unseen things that need to get done but no one else notices. I bust my ass around here day in and day out, night in and night out, 365 days a year and love it all. I still have to get up and “go to work” in the morning after pacing the floor for the last 10 hours with a crying baby just like working parents do, and no I do not get to sleep in. By the way, I “go back to work” for that same crying baby all day. It is hard work when you spend days AND nights on end with the same crying baby that wants nothing to do anyone else but Mommy, when there is nothing physically wrong with the little duffer but she just is not happy and nothing you can do consoles her. Until you have done that you have no clue what it is like to get up at 5am after you have had literally 1 hour of solid sleep only to do it again all day long. Oh wait, you say sleep when the kids nap? Yeah right. That is a joke in my world. There are still dishes to do, phone calls to return, bills to get paid, and I also help run the personal side business that my husband owns, so that means customer calls, billing, filing, all those little things that need to get done.
I have the utmost respect for working parents. My parents were working parents. They worked long hard hours to give all us kids the best things they could and that is amazing to me. I have friends that are working parents that think I must be nuts to want to stay home and raise the kids day in and day out. They cannot imagine how I handle having so little adult communication each and every day but they are proud of me to be able to do it. It makes me thankful each and everyday to be able to stay home and raise my children. Why is it so difficult for some working parents to see that we “stay at homes” do work just as hard, we just don’t do it at an office.

I have “friends” that think that I do nothing. The hardest hardest part of my day to them is deciding which soap opera to watch. I have news for those people, who do you think teaches my kids their ABC’s, how to tie their shoes, how to read and write, how to get along with others and to be a good person, how to walk and talk, how to do arts and crafts and the oh so fun potty training? Seriously do they think that my kids just learn it on their own? No they don’t. It’s hours of playing with them, and coloring and reading that teaches them these things. I do this before I can do any of the other things that need to be taken care of around the house. My day is a pretty full day from the time I am up at roughly 6am until I go to bed at 11pm.
I am not less of a human being, or less of a contributing member of society and I am not trying to “dumb down women in society” because I do not work outside the home(I am after all, a college educated woman with a degree). I am raising two beautiful, kind, intelligent and good hearted daughters. I work hard caring for them and loving them and my husband. Do not insult me as a person or as a mother for not working in an office or for not bringing in a paycheck. I would never in a million years think that anyone is a bad parent or less of a contributing member of society for going to work each and every day to provide for their family.

We as parents are all after the same goal here. That goal is to do what is best for our own individual families. I am proud of being home with my children and all the hard work I do for my family. I am proud of my husband for working so hard to be able to let me choose to stay home and raise our children. I am proud of all my working friends who love their kids and give them the best things in life. If I have been taught one thing in all this, it is that I will continue to raise my daughters to have an open mind. I will teach them not to treat people that may do things differently than them with less respect than they deserve.

Too much time has passed since I last added an entry into this thing. Life seems to be keeping me pretty busy, in all the good ways of course!

We do have some new people around these days to keep us busier. My big brother and his wife and 2 completely adorable kids have moved back home. In fact they just moved back home this past weekend! They have been living in the Albany area for the last, oh, twelve years or so I think. Anyhow it’s been long enough and we are happy to welcome them back home with the rest of us.

My girls are giddy with excitement that their cousins will be here to grow up with them and play “all the time”, as Abigail keeps telling me. It is going to be fun to watch all the little cousins grow and learn together. When I was young my cousin Heather was my closest best friend in the whole world. Who am I kidding, Heather and I are still best friends. We have a bond, almost like siblings do, that holds us close. I want that for all our kids. Abigail is kind of the odd man out since she is the oldest by at least three years but she is more than thrilled to “teach all the babies the fun stuff we do here!” She can’t wait to show my niece and nephew her favorite playground, or where her “Big School” is and where she went to “Little School”, and all the other little things that we grown ups tend to overlook. She wants to show them the best place in the school yard for the biggest pile of leaves, I am pretty sure my brother still remembers since it was the same school all of us kids went to. Megan isn’t quite sure what all this is about just yet. She just knows that her cousins will be living close by now and we will get to see them often.

The kids aren’t the only ones who are happy to have the rest of the family home. My parents are glad to have all their children living within a 10 minute radius and Mom can’t wait to let the spoilage begin! My Dad has just been given the biggest gift in the world…to have all his children close by with all their own children. This is the way I remember growing up. We grew up next door to my Grandma and Grandpa O’Brian. This was the common ground for the meeting and playing and mischief making for all the cousins and us sibs. My grandfather loved it this way. He would tell me (when I finally hit my adult years) that his best gift was having his children and all his grandchildren so close by. He wanted our family to be close, to remember who we are and where we came from and that no matter what, family is what matters most. My Mom and Dad have instilled that in all of us as well and they are truly overjoyed to know that all their kids are near by.

I have to say this is going to be somewhat new for all of us siblings. Of course we have all lived together and know all about each other but this will be the first time that ALL of us will be living so close to each other as adults. We are all finally grown ups now, some married, some married with little ones and one who will be married in the very near future. We have our own way of living and our own grown up thoughts and opinions. To most this isn’t a big deal but we are kind of spaced out in age quite a bit. My brother is 6 years my senior, I am 3 years ahead of the next sister and that sister is 2 years ahead of the youngest sister. That is an age gap of 11 years between the oldest and youngest so it can make for very differing opinions but a hell of a good time harassing the youngest! I am sure that we are going to have our squabbles, that tends to happen within close knit families. I have to say that I am almost…ALMOST looking forward to that. Living close by so much family is going to tough sometimes. I learned that when we moved into our house. It can sometimes feel like you have no privacy when five other family members who live in the same quarter mile, but I have learned that you need to embrace that. It doesn’t mean you have a ton of people sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong, it simply means you have five families that are willing to drop everything on a Sunday morning to come help you thaw out frozen pipes, or you have five other families that are willing to stop by the store on their way home from work to bring ginger ale for your sick child and of course it means there are five other families to embrace you and welcome you home with open arms.

I am so looking forward to having my brother and his whole family home. I am looking forward to watching my kids meet up with their cousins in the field between our houses and run to one house or the other, like I remember doing. I am looking forward to hearing little knocks on my door with little voices asking, “Aunt Steph can Abby and Meg come out to play?”, I am looking forward to a beer on the porch with my brother, since I am all grown up now. I am looking forward to Michelle and I borrowing sugar or talking about the best things to put in our gardens and her advise on what flowers will grow best in my rocky soil. I can’t wait to have all the kids sleeping on our living room floor and giggling until “way past bedtime”.

We are a big, loud family that loves each other through thick and thin. We love to sit around a big dinner table. We love to enjoy a beer with each other. We love laughing, playing and spoiling each others kids. We love to squabble and argue that our way is better. We love to start trouble just to irritate the other siblings, all in good fun of course. We love to know that we all love each other and that we are truly all the way to the center of each of us glad to be a family.

Welcome Home! You have been missed!

A family of Irish birth will argue and fight,
but let a shout come from without,
and see them all unite.